I think I might need to go back to the stay up until 2 a.m. and get up at 8 a.m. schedule. I got stuff done then. Trying to be in bed by 10 or 11 p.m., I end up awake at 1 a.m., and have a tough time getting back to sleep and I still sleep until 8 a.m. So, I'm still tired and nothing gets done. I hate afternoons. I never get anything constructive done in the afternoon. It needs to be at night. That's when my brain relaxes and opens up and work gets done. I used to always say I needed to live someplace where I'd sleep in the afternoons, so I think I'm going to go back to that. See if that won't kick my brain back into gear so I can finally finish this huge multi-character fantasy novel book thing that's been sitting in my brain for the past 30 years.
In the meantime, though, I still need to do those other things - the bookkeeping, taxes, housework, seeing to family issues - things that I put off for so long. And I still need to get to work, pay bills, and somehow find more work so I can make the rent that was raised this month.
We'll see how this goes. I was so ready to have this book done by the end of December, and now I feel like that song, Brother Can You Spare a Dime. I grew up hearing Judy Collins singing it, and whenever I felt depressed or like things weren't going anywhere, that was what it felt like to me, even back in high school. And then I start asking myself why I can't just be normal and want a regular job and regular life like everyone else. But then Utah Phillips - or more correctly Dorothea Brownell - said it best when she said to Utah's daughter Morrigan when she was complaining of the same thing about her dad. (I recommend listening to the entire 6:45 minutes, but the bit below shows up at around 4:50) Imagine the desire of young tween girl to fit in and not be embarrassed by her dad.
Morrigan Bell: "Why aren't you normal?!"
Dorothea Brownell gives Morrigan's shin a kick. "He is normal! What you meant to say is average!"
I try to remember that, but it takes work.
That's a bit of what's been going on here. Hope to get back to blogging regularly and more coherently and focused. Please remember me for any of your proofreading or copyediting needs. Or if you need an article written or a resume revised. Or check out my fiction and poetry at rachelvolivier.com.